I went to the doctor for my yearly physical. The nurse starts with certain basics.

"How much do you weigh?" she asks.

"125," I say. The nurse puts me on the scale. It turns out my weight is 140.

The nurse asks, "Your height?" "5 foot 8," I say.

The nurse checks and sees that I only measure 5' 6".

She then takes my blood pressure and tells me it is very high.

"Of course it's high!" I scream, "When I came in here I was tall and slender! Now I'm short and fat!"

She put me on Prozac.